


Not A Chew Toy

by GreyKestrel



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Armin Centric, Erin Yeager & Armin Arlert Friendship, Gen, Humor, Mikasa Ackerman & Armin Arlert Friendship, Protective Mikasa, Titan Eren Yeager, Training exercises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 06:10:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11178702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreyKestrel/pseuds/GreyKestrel
Summary: “Very funny Eren. You can put me down now,” Armin said to the huge face in front him. He watched as Eren’s eyes flicked to the ground then back to where Armin was held in his large hand. It was then Armin was struck with the memory of their earlier conversation.“Watch out, Armin, I might just eat you if you annoy me too much.”“Eren, don’t you dare—“But the rest of Armin’s sentence was cut off as he was dropped into a titan’s mouth for the second time in his short life.





	Not A Chew Toy

**Author's Note:**

> Turns out I have a thing for Titan Eren messing with or looking after his friends, so, here you go.
> 
> This is set at the *vague hand waving and shoulder shrug* point in the time line, ignoring some things that have/will happen for the sake of the story without deviating from canon too much.
> 
> Enjoy!

Armin wasn't sure how the idea had arisen, let alone how it had been approved, but it certainly didn't do anything to disprove people's thoughts that the Survey Corps was... _unique_. Eren thought it was a wonderful idea. Armin had a long list of ideas Eren thought were wonderful but turned out to be not so. Still, Armin conceded that if the commander and the captain had both approved the upcoming training exercise it surely couldn't turn out as bad as the worst case scenarios rearing their ugly heads in the back of his mind.

"Armin, why so grim?" Eren asked, effectively startling Armin out of his thoughts.

"Just thinking," Armin replied. He picked up the dangling straps of his gear and continued buckling them into place. "You never ask Mikasa why she looks grim all the time."

"Yeah, well..." Eren shrugged, searching for the right words. "Mikasa," he finally said, like that answered the question. Armin had to acknowledge that in a lot of ways it did. "Anyway," Eren continued, "are you excited?"

"Not as excited as you seem to be." Armin couldn't help a smile when he noticed just how big Eren's grin was. "Then again, I'm not the one who gets to stomp around as a fifteen meter titan. I just get to avoid one.”

“You won’t be able to avoid me for long,” Eren said. “I’m going to win this.”

“It’s a training exercise, Eren, there’s not supposed to be a winner. Or, we should all be winners because our skills and tactics improve.”

“I’m going to win.”

Armin couldn’t help the rolling of his eyes or the slight upwards quirk of his lips.

“What?” Eren crossed his arms over his chest, a haughty look on his face. “You don’t think I’m going to be able to kick the ass of every soldier that tries to take me down?”

Armin pulled the last strap of his gear taught and made sure the buckle was holding everything firmly in place. “Just don’t get too cocky.”

Eren just snorted and started leading the way out of building once he noticed Armin was finished gearing up. “Watch out, Armin, I might just eat you if you annoy me too much.”

“Don’t even think about it.”

Eren’s smile turned into something closer to a maniacal grin.

Armin frowned as they stepped out into the yard. “Eren—“

“Oi, Jaeger,” Levi interrupted. 

“Captain!” Both Eren and Armin greeted the man in front of them, though only Armin bothered with the salute.

“Erwin is waiting for you at the edge of the forest.” Levi sounded bored but his eyes were sharp. Armin couldn’t help but wonder how much of the conversation he had heard before making his presence known. “Get moving, brat, we can’t run a titan exercise if our titan is too busy ambling about with his friend.”

Eren pulled a face but didn’t hesitate to respond to the command. “See you later, Armin.” He waved a hand as he jogged off in the direction of the forest

Armin tried not to look nervous when Levi turned his dark gaze onto him. “Arlert.”

“Sir?”

“Hurry up.”

“Oh, yes, sir!”

Armin quickly dropped the salute and hurried in the opposite direction to Eren. The Survey Corps soldiers had been asked to meet in a field to the east of the forrest. Once there they would be provided with the full objective of the day’s training exercise.

By the time Armin had joined up with everyone else and found Mikasa within the crowd, Eren’s humorous threat had all but vanished from his mind. Instead he turned his focus onto the new objective provided. 

The instructions for the day were simple: in squads of three they would attempt to ‘kill’ the titan within the forest. Each soldier was handed two wooden swords with small paint soaked sponges on their ends. “So we can assess your ability to land a killing blow on an intelligent titan without actually landing a killing blow,” Hanji had explained while grouping soldiers.

Armin had been grouped with Mikasa and Jean. It was quite a good grouping if he was honest with himself, and he did wonder if the squad leader and been deliberate in her choices. Jean had been proving himself to be a good all rounder, Mikasa had her exceptional combat skills, and Armin brought a higher level of planning and tactics to their small group. He still wasn’t entirely comfortable with the idea that he could be considered useful though. After telling himself that he was a burden for so long it was hard to just shake off that mindset over night.

They waited side by side in the tree branches for Hanji’s return to signal the start of their round. So far none of the previous groups had managed to land a killing blow and had all been ‘killed’ by Eren. It didn’t come as much of a surprise to Armin as he watched the group who had left before them trudge back out of the forest. Until recently the idea of an intelligent titan was unthinkable and he was sure many of the Survey Corps soldiers were approaching Eren like they would any abnormal titan, cautiously, but relying on speed to reach the vulnerable area and slice.

Unfortunately for them Eren knew all their standard tactics, not to mention he could think and plan in order to disrupt any attacks. That and he knew where his own weak spot was.

There was a rustle in the trees ahead before two grapple-tipped cords slammed into a tree nearby, pulling Hanji suddenly from the foliage. She alighted on a tree branch not far from them, grinning from ear to ear.

“Another group unsuccessful,” she said, sounding more amused than disappointed. “Let’s see who we have— oh, this will be interesting.” Hanji grinned down at the trio, a glint of excitement in her eyes.

“What do you mean?” Mikasa voiced the question Armin was sure they had all been thinking.

“Well, of any of the soldiers here you three will probably have the best chance today.” She nodded to herself then elaborated. “I mean, you are all close to Eren, and I’m sure that will give you some insight into how you can get past his guard, even the playing field a little, if you will.”

Jean grumbled. “I wouldn’t say we're _all_ close to Jeager.”

“Semantics!” Hanji exclaimed. “Remember, we will be watching and ready to intervene should anything go awry. Not that we expect it to but better to be safe then sorry, ne? Now, on my count. Three, two, one, go!”

The trio took off into the trees fast, knowing there was some distance to cover before they got close to where Eren likely was. Hanji followed behind, keeping any eye on them for their assessment.

Jean was the first to get conversation about their plan rolling. “So, how exactly are we going to approach this, Armin?”

“I- um, why are ask me?”

“You’re supposed to be the smart one, yeah? Mikasa will listen to you too.”

Armin let his gaze drift just enough to the side to catch Mikasa’s small but proud smile and felt his heart swell. “She’d listen to you if you had a good plan too you know.”

“I would,” Mikasa said. “So, do you, Jean?”

“No. That’s why I asked Armin, I figured he already had something rolling around in that giant brain of his.”

“Armin?”

Armin frowned, thinking about all the variables they would have to counteract for even a chance of completing the training run successfully. “Well, we can’t go into this thinking he’s going to act like a normal titan. That’s Eren in there so he’s going to be as smart as Eren.”

“So not very smart.”

The sharp look Mikasa sends him is enough to cow Jean, and Armin continues as if the comment wasn’t uttered in the first place. It was just easier that way.

“We need a distraction. He’ll be expecting tactics so we need to make sure the distraction is _actually_ distracting enough to allow at least one person to get close enough to his nape. It might be best if as well as a distraction someone aims to take out his achilles. If we can limit his movement it will make it easier to approach." Armin paused, chewing on his bottom lip as thoughts raced through his head. “I’ll be the distraction,” he said finally.

“Wouldn’t it be better for someone faster on the gear to be distraction? That way they’re not going to get caught- uh.” Jean gave Armin an apologetic shrug as the trio landed on a thick tree branch. “I mean, not that I think you can’t be a good distraction it’s just…”

“No, you’re right,” Armin said, noting with some humour how Jean’s tense muscles relaxed slightly when he realised he hadn’t caused offence. “But I passed training, didn’t I? Besides, if I _do_ get caught, that’s the perfect opportunity for the pair of you to strike.”

“You’re not dispensable,” Mikasa said from behind him. When Armin turned slightly to see her face it was marred by a small frown. “I’ll draw his attention.” She moved to take off again but Armin grabbed her arm.

“No, we need your speed to get to Eren before he can act to protect himself.” He smiled, squeezing her arm slightly. “It’s just Eren,” he reminded her. “Worse case scenario we end up a little bruised and embarrassed.”

“Fine,” she said, and gestured for them to continue. Jean took off from the branch but before Armin could follow he was tugged back by the collar of his jacket. Mikasa leant in close to his ear. “If you try and pull a stunt like this on the field it won’t just be the titans you need to worry about.”

He staggered forward when she let go of his jacket and watched in stunned silence as she followed Jean into the trees. Armin was left with a warmth in his chest at the reminder that his friends really did care about him, even if Mikasa could be incredibly scary when expressing such sentiments. With a full body shake to get his head back in the game he fired off grapple lines and hurried to catch up with the rest of his team.

It didn't take them much longer to find Eren. Large as he was in titan form it was hard for him to be stealthy, and with a few silent nods the trio hunting him began the execution of their plan.

Mikasa and Jean disappeared into the thick foliage surrounding the area Eren was wandering through while Armin took a more direct route. With a burst of released gas he sent himself flying directly for Eren’s nape. He didn't think it would actually work, but it wasn’t supposed to. As he neared Eren the titan ducked low, one hand moving up cover his nape as Armin’s wooden swords swept high over his back, nowhere close to hitting skin.

Armin let the momentum of his lunge carry him across the small clearing. He landed on a tree trunk with one of his wires embedded in the wood a couple of meters above his head. It was a good position, easy to transition into almost any movement in any direction. 

He watched as Eren glanced up, large green eyes locking onto Armin. For anyone else the idea of a titan staring at them surely would have been terrifying, but Armin was more than familiar with these eyes. He was familiar with these eyes and the glint of mischief and determination within them that was one hundred percent his best friend, Eren Jaeger.

Armin took a moment to glance around the clearing. He could see both Hanji and Levi observing from a distance where they wouldn’t get in the way but couldn't see or hear Jean and Mikasa. That meant Eren probably couldn't see or hear them either. It was now or never.

He sent out the mental hope that the others were in a good position before he jumped off the tree and into a quick downwards swing, aiming once again for the nape of Eren’s neck as the titan stood. Armin shot one of his cables out to the left, using it to swing in a sharp curve that would bring him close enough to get a killing hit if Eren didn’t move. From his periphery Armin could see Eren’s eyes following him.

Armin was closing in on Eren’s weak spot fast but still the titan had yet to move. It wasn’t until Armin was too close to pull away that Eren shifted.

The fifteen meter titan moved with a speed any regular titan wouldn’t have been able to manage, ducking and turning into Armin’s approach. He had effectively removed his weak point from Armin’s reach and placed himself into a position to attack, which Eren didn’t hesitate to take advantage of.

Armin was moving too fast to react in time to the large hand that was suddenly in front of him, and he slammed into it with a force that left him slightly winded. It might have been better than face planting into a tree at high speed with the ODM gear, but not by much. Titan flesh was hardly forgiving after all.

Large fingers curled around his body to stop him falling and Armin was raised to Eren’s face. A burst of steam from the large mouth in front of him ruffled his hair as Eren huffed. It didn’t take long for Armin to realising it was titan Eren’s version of laughter.

Armin was tempted to mention something about the fact he had been working in a group of three but figured that moment was probably the best time for Jean or Mikasa to make their attack. He didn’t want to destroy any chance they had of completing this exercise, not when they were so close. At the same time he hoped Mikasa and Jean wouldn’t take to much longer, otherwise either Levi or Hanji was sure to call him out as well and truely dead.

“Very funny Eren. You can put me down now,” Armin said to the huge face in front him. He watched as Eren’s eyes flicked to the ground then back to where Armin was held in his large hand. It was then Armin was struck with the memory of their earlier conversation.

_“Watch out, Armin, I might just eat you if you annoy me too much.”_

“Eren, don’t you dare—“

But the rest of Armin’s sentence was cut off as he was dropped into a titan’s mouth for the second time in his short life.

 

✥ ✥ ✥

 

From a short distance away Levi and Hanji watched as small, blond, Armin Arlert was dropped into the mouth of one of humanity’s greatest weapons.

“Oh,” Hanji said, eloquently. For once in her life she was left speechless when it came to titans.

Levi’s hands strayed towards the swords on his belt.

The was a long moment of silence in the clearing after Eren’s teeth snapped shut. Levi and Hanji stood frozen. Neither Mikasa or Jean had appeared from where they were hiding, quite probably also in shock. Eren, on the other hand, managed to stand there with a smug look on a face that really only had mildly threatening as it’s only expression.  

Then, muffled and only just discernible from where Levi and Hanji stood, loud yelling could be heard from inside Eren’s mouth.

"I can't believe you! So help me, I will shove this wooden sword so far down your throat..."

Hanji glanced towards Levi, whose hands had slipped away from his swords. "Should we intervene?"

Levi, surprised for once that she was holding herself back, shook his head. “No. I doubt Arlert is in any real danger despite all evidence to the contrary. Probably smells like ass inside a titan’s mouth though."

From low in the tree trunks there was sudden movement. Heels almost scraping along the ground, Jean flew out into the open with his sights set on the back of Eren’s legs. The titan glanced down just in time to see Jean drag his twin swords across the back of his heels, leaving behind bright red streaks of paint.

“Eren, that’s your legs gone!” Levi yelled. It didn’t really matter in the long run however.

From the trees behind Eren there was a blur of motion. A figure propelled themselves from the leaves, dark hair instantly giving it away as the remaining member of the training group, Mikasa. With Eren distracted as he was with Jean’s attack and Armin in his mouth, he didn't notice Mikasa until it was too late. The young woman flung herself forward, her wooden blades leaving two bright red lines across Eren's nape.

"That calls it," Levi said. He dropped off the branch, shooting out the grapple cords of his gear without bothering to check if Hanji was following or not. The captain landed lightly on the ground by Eren’s feet, looking up at the titan who was now holding the back of his neck. "Too late for that, brat, you're dead. You're lucky we didn't give Ackerman a real set of swords.”

Eren's entire demeanour shifted, body language reading clear disappointment as he looked to Mikasa. She gave him a small reassuring smile.

Levi couldn't help the slight roll of his eyes. “No need to act like a baby, Jaeger. Now hurry up and spit Arlert out, he's not a damn chew toy."

 

✥ ✥ ✥

 

The inside of Eren’s mouth was wet, warm, and dark once those teeth snapped shut. Armin was in a mild state of shock. Eren, his closest friend, had just dropped him inside his mouth like he was a boiled sweet and not a human person who definitely didn’t belong in said mouth. 

Armin could feel the saliva on Eren’s tongue already seeping through his clothes. That’s when he decided it was time to let Eren know just how much he disapproved of his little joke.

“I can’t believe you!” he yelled, poking the roof of Eren’s mouth with one of the wooden swords still held in his hands. “So help me, I will shove this wooden sword so far down your throat…” he trailed off when he couldn’t come up with a threat that did justice to his annoyance.

Armin kicked at Eren’s teeth with one foot but just made him slide further backwards on the titan’s slippery tongue. Instead Armin scrambled forward and took up hitting Eren’s teeth with the sword. Occasionally he aimed for the edge of the gum, hoping it was starting to bother his friend.

“You’ve had your fun, now open your mouth,” he yelled. “Eren, you lug, Mikasa is going to be so annoyed at you and I can’t wait!” There was still no response from Eren. “I can’t believe you did this and now you’re going to ignore me,” Armin muttered.

Thinking on it, Armin was surprised at how calm he was. Last time he had been in a titan’s mouth was not an experience he recalled fondly, but so far he hadn’t started panicking. Perhaps it was because he knew it was Eren, and there was no way Eren would actually eat him. Or maybe it was the way Eren’s tongue keep shifting slightly to make sure Armin stayed at the front of his mouth instead of slipping back towards the dark hole that was his throat. Or maybe Armin was just so annoyed he didn’t have the capacity to be scared in that moment.

Armin gave the back of Eren’s teeth another few good thumps with the sword. Asshole.

“No need to act like a baby, Jaeger. Now hurry up and spit Arlert out, he's not a damn chew toy."

 _Thank you, Captain_ , Armin thought. Before he could start feeling too grateful though, his gravity shifted. Armin fell back against Eren’s teeth, wondering what in earth his friend was doing, when suddenly those teeth opened beneath him.

“Er— oof!” Armin didn’t even have time to get his friend’s name out before he hit the ground, a lot closer than he expected it to be. He rolled over to see Eren sitting back up from where he had leaned close to the ground and the disgusted face of his captain staring down at him.

“Congratulations, Arlert,” Levi said. “Thanks to your sacrifice humanity was able to defeat this particular enemy.”

Armin turned to Mikasa, noting Jean as he walked up behind her. “You did it?” Mikasa nodded. “Then the plan worked.”

Jean snorted, reaching the group in time to hear Armin’s comment. “And here I thought getting eaten wasn’t a likely probability in this exercise. It certainly wasn’t part of the plan.” Jean gave Armin a once over then glanced up at Eren. “Look at what you did, Jeager.”

Eren made a noise that was less of a vocalisation and more of a rumble deep in his chest. Armin chose to interpret it as an apology as he rolled back over onto his hands and knees. He didn’t get much further, however, when the back of his jacket was pinched between two large fingers. He was lifted, not unlike a kitten, and then gently placed feet first of the ground.

“Thanks,” he said, brushing some damp hair out of his face to give Eren a small smile.

“Enough chit-chat,” Levi said, watching the group with arms crossed over his chest. “We have a training exercise to run. Hanji, take them back and send in the next group. Arlert, go clean yourself and your clothes before either start to stink.” Levi turned to Eren then. “And you, try not to get so distracted by your little games that you get killed again next time, eh, brat?” 

As the trio of Jean, Mikasa, and Armin made their way over to Hanji, Armin began to notice just how uncomfortable being covered in titan spit truely was. Their excited squad leader scientist wasn’t about to offer him any sympathy though.

“Armin, can you maybe hold off on that bath until I get back? I would love for some samples and a detailed report about just what it’s like inside of Eren’s titan mouth.” Hanji said without skipping a beat. “It’s not often we get the opportunity to so closely study titan anatomy, in fact, maybe I should ask if he’ll let me have a little poke around. You don’t think he’d mind, do you?”

Armin just sighed, and resigned himself to at least a few more hours of being a gross, saliva covered mess.

**Author's Note:**

> I may write an angsty continuation of this in the future, because we all know Armin probably has some Trauma™ relating to being inside the mouth of a titan but for now enjoy a somewhat humorous and fluffier ending :)


End file.
